Becoming an After Pandora Member

How to join After Pandora

We're always on the lookout for new members of After Pandora. Our members are the lifeblood of our community and each new person brings their own unique energy, helping create the exciting and friendly mix that everyone expects at our events. However, we’re quite careful about who we admit to our play parties. By checking out all potential members, we make sure that our parties remain a safe place to play, while retaining the intimacy that sets them apart from many similar events.  

People feel safe to play when they know the crowd is safe. It means that things get wilder and raunchier that much quicker!

What we're looking for

We’re not trying to be exclusive, just making sure that all our guests feel comfortable to play and to express who they are. We never rule people out based on appearance, sexuality, or occupation - AP members are a very diverse group. They do share some similarities though. Our members tend to be:

People who are in touch with their creativity

We find that people who are in touch with their creative side are often more expressive and open, and they often bring more energy to parties. This doesn’t mean you have to be an artist, graphic designer or costume expert! All you need is a lively imagination, a sense of fun and a willingness to explore new things.

Good communicators

When parties hot up, good communication is extremely important. We favour people who communicate clearly, ask for what they want and allow space for a genuine answer – whether that is a yes, a maybe, or a straightforward no.

Open-minded people

You may not be into everything that happens at our parties, but it’s very important that you don't judge others for their orientation or preferences. YKIOK (Your Kink Is OK) is one of our mottos.

People with a passion for kink

Remember the old workplace sign? "You don't have to be kinky to play here, but it helps!"


And remember: Newbies are welcome

You don't need to be super-experienced, or go to all the clubs and munches, to become an After Pandora member. Openness and curiosity are all you need.

How we choose our members

To make things as fair as possible, we ask six to eight of our core members to give feedback on the new people they met at each of the open social events.  At the social they will be clearly identified, either with badges or some obvious clothing or accessory.  We encourage our core members to trust their instincts because, in general, we find that people agree 95% of the time.  By gathering feedback from a number of people we ensure that things don’t become personal, as that seems unfair to us.

The majority of people who attend socials are approved.  In this case, we email you within a few days of the social, to let you know you’ve been approved for membership and to invite you to our next event.  A small number of people do not get approved because our core members have not yet had a chance to chat to them.  In this case we will email you to let you know, and encourage you to come to a future social.  We hope you'll come again because, as many of our members will tell you, it’s worth the effort!

If we feel you’re not suitable for After Pandora, we will email to let you know. We will try to give clear reasons, based on the feedback we have received.  If you are declined membership we prefer you to not to attend future socials – though if you feel strongly that the decision is unfair, please let us know.

How not to be invited back

For the avoidance of doubt, verbal or physical aggression, non-consensual touching, being drunk and incapable, and expressing discriminatory views (basically ways of making other people uncomfortable) are all things that would make it extremely unlikely that we invite you back. We've all occasionally encountered these sorts of behaviours while out on the scene – and that’s why we do what we can to make sure this doesn't happen at our parties.

We hope we've given you all the information you need about how we choose our members. If you have any questions please email We look forward to meeting you at one of our socials soon!

Great, sign me up!

To apply, click the "Apply Now" button below and fill in the joining form!